Tragic Death of Marisa Bau

At the end of January, the shocking and tragic news broke in the Swiss and Italian press that the body of Italian focolarina Marisa Bau, aged 48, who had been missing since before Christmas, had been found in a barn near the Focolare centre at Montet, Swtizerland, where she had been based for the past 15 years.   It was not until the farmer who owns the barn moved a bale of hay that her body was revealed hanging from a metal beam.  By 2 Febraury, an autopsy and the findings of the police pointed to suicide.

Official statements on the Focolare Movement website accept this possibility.  Marisa Bau's family, however reject this explanation on the grounds that suicide would conflict with her Christian beliefs.  Prior to the discovery of the body,  a high profile appeal for information on the missing woman, spear-headed by the Focolare's official website, seemed to suggest that the movement's leadership was convinced that, whether Bau had left voluntarily or not, she would be found alive.  At first the appeals insisted that she had been in good spirits at the time of her disappearance, but gradually there were hints that maybe she had been troubled in some way.   She had just returned from a journey to Brazil and was jet-lagged and complaining of a severe headache.  While hardly an explanation for suicide in themselves, as the Focolare's official website seem to suggest, short-term disorientation could have aggravated an existing state of mind. If indeed this was suicide - and, if so, circumstances would suggest a firm intention, rather than a cry for help - one can only guess at the depth of despair and isolation she felt.  Yet there seems to be no indication that those closest to her were aware of what would have been a profoundly disturbed mental state.

Those unfamilair with the inner workings of the Focolare Movement, might conclude that this would rule out suicide. The final results of the autopsy will not be available for a few weeks and so, for the moment, any explanations must be speculative.  Yet from my own experience of leaving the movement, after a number of years as a celibate focolarino with vows, I would suggest that suicide is certainly a possibility despite the lack of obvious motivation.

Like other similar 'New Movements' in the Catholic Church, Focolare encourages an 'angelistic' approach.  Whatever extremes of personal anguish they may be feeling,  members are encouraged to maintain an impression of smiling serenity, the hallmark of  the focolarini, which strikes some observers as attractive and others as zombie-like.  Thus even their immediate colleagues might remain unaware of personal problems - which might only be revealed to higher authorities such as the 'capizona', the regional leaders.

Although my exit from Focolare was carried out in agreement with the movements' superiors and through the official channels,  right up to the day I left I was still expected to lead meetings.  I remember translating recordings of Chiara Lubich's talks and feeling my mind almost literally split in two.  The only way I could describe this schizoid state was that it was as though there were a sheet of glass dividing my brain - on one side was my Focolare self, on the other was the self waiting with bated breath to escape. The mental strain was immense.

I know how alone it is possible to feel when you reach a point where to stay in the movement would destroy you, yet outside there appears to be no hope or even damnation, a concept that is ceaselessly drummed into members.  To leave the movement would mean betraying and losing all your friends (anyone who has been in the movement for many years has long since forfeited or deliberately cut off any friendships outside its confines) but you also feel that you would be betraying your family by being a bad example and putting the movement in a bad light and you are therefore reluctant to seek their support.   For this reason it is highly unlikely that family members would have the least inkling of any problems.  Hearing of the long and tragic experiences of others who have left the movement, I consider myself lucky; I had only been 'inside' for 9 years and  was only 26 at the time of my exit and therefore still flexible enough to adapt to a new way of life and a new way of looking at the world.  Although I never had suicidal feelings, I can remember moments of personal crisis during my time in the movement when I felt on the brink of madness and my behaviour was bizarre and out of character.  I can understand that for someone like Bau who had been in the movement for 25 years, failure to measure up to expectations could appear to be unutterable desolation.
Extremes of depression and desperate actions could be possible in such unbalanced moments.

Marisa Bau had been based at the Focolare's village in Montet for the past fifteen years.  The atmosphere at these centres is even more intense than in the small Focolare houses based in towns and cities where you at least have contact with the outside world.   In these self-sufficient villages or 'towns' of the Movement, members are required to be 'up', in the jargon of the movement, at all times.  When I was at Loppiano, the movement's 'town' in Tuscany, I would sometimes wonder if the illusion was not sustained by the suppressed anguish of  all the inhabitants.  Chiara Lubich herself once said that Loppiano could be a paradise or a terrible prison depending on ones state of mind.  Bizarrely, the Focolare authorities sometimes used these centres - whose main purpose was a 'novitiate' for full-time members - as a kind of prison for members with 'problems'.  The fact that generally these centres were in physically isolated locations, made them ideal for this purpose.  I remember one focolarino at Loppiano at the same time as me - although some years older - who, we were told, was suffering from depression and was tormented with suicidal thoughts.  What no one seemed to realise was that Loppiano was probably the last place he should be, with its pressure-cooker atmosphere, likely to aggravate his mental state and any feelings of despair or worthlessness.

When the Vatican were having problems with the African Archbishop Milengo a few years ago, they appointed the focolarini as his 'gaolers' - and very good they were at it too, according to Vaticanologist Sandro Magister of the Italian news weekly L'Espresso.  One of the places they took the Archbishop was O'Higgins, the Argentinian equivalent of Loppiano, probably the remotest of all the Focolare centres, in the midst of the pampas, miles away from anywhere.  It is easy to see how the intensity and isolation of such an atmosphere could trigger serious depression.

It was also my experience that the shock of leaving this rarified atmosphere even for a short period such as a holiday or visiting family - and Bau had just been on a trip to Brazil on Focolare business - could trigger a sudden crisis, or the flaring up of repressed problems.  One was highly susceptible to the 'temptations' of the outside world.  Manifestations of sexuality in posters, on television or in films,  for instance, which the general population are so used to that they hardly notice them, could have an overwhelming impact on such 'innocents abroad'.  Despite the fact that focolarini are exorted to practise 'custody of the eyes', in today's world you would have to walk around blindfolded to do this effectively.  Thoughts and feelings which most people would consider normal, could be deeply disturbing and unbalancing for those used to a very sheltered environment.

At least the Focolare Movement has not tried to hush up the facts of Bau's death - which would have been difficult in view of the publicity.  Even though they are forbidden to watch TV or buy newspapers, the news would inevitably filter down to internal members.  But the response of Maria Voce, the successor to Chiara Lubich as President of Focolare, while sympathetic, is ambiguous and could be understood to deflect blame from the movement.  She says that with Bau's death 'we see the Movement more than ever identified with the dramas of humanity today'.  The implication could be that somehow Bau was contaminated by 'the world', rather than aknowledging that somehow the demands of the movement could have pushed her over the edge.  When I first told the male Focolare leader in the UK that I was gay, his main concern was that I shouldn't blame the movement, an idea that had never entered my mind.  There was a knee-jerk reaction to safeguard the institution first and foremost.

If indeed this was a tragic suicide, those closest to Bau, and the leadership of the movement, must surely feel compelled to examine ways in which they may have failed to meet her needs in this crucial moment of personal crisis.  Many people both inside and outside the movement, including Bau's family, the civil authorities and - one would hope - the Catholic hierarchy will be asking far-reaching questions.  On this occasion, smokescreens of fine spiritual words will not suffice.   The one positive thing that could emerge would be an extensive enquiry into the circumstances leading up to Bau's death, including questioning structures and internal procedures as amongst possible causes, and that the results of this enquiry should be made public. If the Focolare Movement does not do this, then hopefully the civil or religious authorities will.  In facing up to Marisa Bau's demons, perhaps the Focolare Movement might face up to its own.

E Gesu Pianse (Italian translation of post 'Jesus Wept')

Gesu pianse...

Secondo un'articolo che e apparso in un'edizione speciale del giornale cattolico italiano Avvenire (19 marzo 2008) per segnalare la morte di Chiara Lubich, 'Hanno [i focolarini] deciso, "Niente lacrime a Roma [ai funerali della Lubich] perche non e morta. Vive per sempre in tutti noi." ' Piuttosto che dare una testimonianza della vita eterna ai milioni che hanno seguito la trasmissione in diretta su RAI 1 o sull'internet (e si suppone che questo era l'intenzione dei capi focolarini) questo atteggiamento stoico ha prestato una strana atmosfera di disagio agli avvenimenti. Un mio amico che non ha mai avuto contatti col movimento ma e familiare con le sue idee, mi ha detto che gli sembrava che i membri erano cosi abituati a ricevere ordini su come sentire e reagire che in queste circostanze straordinarie non sapevano come reagire affatto. In realta, avevano ricevuto istruzioni precisi su come comportarsi ed era questo che ha dato alla ceremonia l'aria di stranezza e distacco.

Io invece, un ex-membro che sente ancora affetto per tanti membri dell'Opera e certamente per la fondatrice - nonostante le mie tante obiezioni alle pratiche del movimento - era commosso fino al pianto e l'ho trovato molto strano che quelli che si vantano di essere i suoi seguaci piu fedeli sono rimasti impassivi. Solo don Oreste Basso, uno dei primi focolarini ed il 'co-presidente' del movimento dei Focolari, ha avuto un momento di commozione quando ha ringraziato i pezzi grossi presenti nel suo ruolo di rappresentate dell'Opera. Ma dall'altra parte, i vecchi hanno la tendenza alle lacrime ed e riuscito in poco tempo a calmarsi. Le prime compagne di Chiara, Eli Folonari e Graziella de Luca, invece hanno scherzato insieme fuori la Basilica dopo la ceremonia come fosse stata una Giornata od una Mariapoli molto riuscita.

I funerali della Lubich hanno messo in rilievo uno dei difetti piu grossi del movimento dei Focolari: la pressione sui membri di distaccarsi dalle loro emozioni. In questo caso, la pressione era cosi forte che la reazione spontanea della maggioranza dell'umanita in circostanze simili era assente. Suor Madeleine, fondatrice delle Piccole Sorelle di Gesu, disse una volta che prima di essere cristiani bisogna essere umani; ma questo e piuttosto difficile per i focolarini per i quali il termine stesso 'umano' e negativo!

I psicologi direbbero che il distacco dai propri sentimenti promosso dal movimento e patologico e molto pericoloso per la salute mentale. Difatti, puo darsi che questo sia la causa principale della depressione e malattia mentale che e cosi comune nel movimento a tutti livelli. Adesso che e scomparsa la fondatrice, un'indagine aperta e profonda su questo aspetto potrebbe essere di grande aiuto sia per i membri correnti sia per gli ex.

La vera buona novella non e certa una recetta per la malattia mentale. Se e veramente parola di Dio, deve essere proprio l'opposto. Mi ricordo, durante il mio soggiorno a Loppiano, del funerale di una ragazzina, figlia di focolarini sposati, che si e spenta in seguito ad una malattia ereditaria molto dolorosa. C'era un'amtosfera di celebrazione maniacale e neanche i genitori o fratelli hanno mostrato il minimo segno di tristezza o di lutto.

Mi domandai allora, ed mi sono domandato durante gli anni successivi, perche nessuno si e accorto che questo e lo stile dei focolarini e non del vangelo. Gesu era certamente in contatto con le sue emozioni e non temeva di mostrarle apertamente. In particolare, pianse sulla morte di Lazzaro, anche se doveva sapere che possedeva il potere di fargli risorgere.

Questo e sicuramente la reazione buona, umana alla morte di una persona cara. Ed e questo il cuore del problema. Cos'e la natura dell'amore predicato dai focolarini se e cosi disincarnato che sente nessuna reazione alla morte di una che ama al punto di essere pronto a morire per ella? Nella vita, come nella morte, la reazione alla perdita di amici che si suppone di essere cari e ugualmente fredda - come nel caso di membri che lasciano il movimento per esempio. E possibile che l'amore vero e compatibile con un tale mancanza di emozione?

Mi ha turbato per molto tempo che la virtu evangelica della compassione non trovava posto fra gli insegnamenti del movimento. Ma leggiamo che Gesu aveva compassione sulla folla e che pianse su quello che stava per avvenire a Gerusalemme. Si paragonava perfino ad una gallina che raccoglie i pulcini intorno a se: un'immagine piena di tenerezza ed emozione. Ma come possiamo aspettare che i foclarini riescono a 'sentire' o 'soffrire' con gli altri se mancono cosi tanto di fiducia nei sentimenti? Mi ricordo come, poco temo dopo essere uscito dal focolare, era commosso da un programma all TV, o forse era un film, che mi fece piangere per la prima volta in quasi dieci anni - il periodo durante il quale facevo parte del movimento. Non mi ero commosso in tutti quegli anni, ma di colpo i miei sentimenti erano liberati dalla loro prigione.

Ma com'e possibile obbedire al commandamento di Gesu 'Piangete con quelli che piangono' se non riusciamo a piangere noi stessi? Piuttosto che seguire la linea stoica dei focolarini, preferisco prendere la via indicata da Gesu: 'Beati quelli che fanno cordoglio perche saranno consolati.'